Love is not something that is shown in a movie. It does not consist of only romantic dates and kisses under the moon. A happy relationship is work based on mutual respect and patience, but harmony is easy to break. Knowing what kills relationships may help you save your connection.
1. Attempts to change each other
Ideal people do not exist. But do not confuse habits and traits. There are things that a person can not change in themselves, no matter how much you reproach them. Therefore, do not confuse scattered around the house socks (habit) and lost for the fifth time in a season umbrella (absent-mindedness – a character trait).
2. Getting to know parents
Well, if you are familiar with the parents of your second half (and she is with your parents). Even better, when they are friends. Alas, this is not always the case. The son-in-law may not like the potential mother-in-law, and the daughter-in-law does not impress the future mother-in-law, but this should not influence the relations within the couple. Do not be disrespectful to your choice and do not drag your loved one / loved ones to family dinners. They promise nothing but a spoiled mood.
3. Mobile phone
It’s amazing how quickly gadgets have turned from allies into enemies. Instead of enjoying communication with loved ones, we chat on the phone, write SMS, we sit in social networks. Of course, sometimes there are really important things, but, in the end, there is nothing more important than a loved one.
4. Public reproaches
Never, hear, never hash things out in public places. You will confuse not only your partner but others. No matter how blood was boiling, no matter how much you wanted to dot the “i” here and now, do it only face to face.
5. Quarrels
Disagreements are inevitable. It is a common answer to the question “What kills long distance relationships?”. Sooner or later, any pair finds stumbling blocks. Moreover, this is normal. Quarrels are part of a happy relationship. But under one condition: do not cross the line. Do not insult each other, do not put your resentment above the partner, and remember that there is no conflict that cannot be resolved by compromise.
6. Silence
No one can read your thoughts. Even a loved one. There is a problem? Tell about it. Something you do not like? Speak. It will help you cope with things that destroy a marriage. Expressing emotions, both positive and negative, is a pledge of psychological health.
7. Forgiveness
All are mistaken. And you too. Know how to forgive your loved ones. Do not hold resentment in yourself and do not save them. This will not only save your relationship, but also help to avoid undesirable stress. Psychologists have long noticed that grievances have a negative impact on human health.
8. Wrong time, wrong place
Discuss important issues in a suitable environment and at the right time. Do not start a conversation, for example, about moving after a hard day’s work. One-sided answers, indifferent nods, are not a sign of indifference. Your partner is just tired, he does not have the strength to debate. Postpone the conversation for later.
9. Finance
Relationships suggest that you not only take, but give. However, it should not be petty at the same time, especially in financial matters. Agree on the main thing: how to manage the economy, pay bills, allocate the budget. But do not allow phrases like: “At the weekend we go to the cinema, but you pay, since I paid last time.”
10. Turning a fly into an elephant
Nobody is perfect. Did he forget to throw out the trash? Did she burn your shirt? He bought the wrong yogurt? She did not pay for the Internet? Believe me, all this is so stupid that it is not worth even your attention, not to mention emotions. Do not make an elephant out of a fly. Instead, take a walk – at the same time and throw out the garbage. Laugh over the hole on your shirt, because it’s time to buy a new one. Try the “wrong” yogurt, maybe this taste is even better? Light the candles and spend a romantic evening without the Internet.
11. Espionage
Love is built on trust. Trust your second half. Your loved one can (and should) have a personal space. Respect it. Do not read the SMS, do not look in the e-mail, do not poke your pockets. All this hurts love and destroys relationships.
12. Jealousy
Someone thinks that jealousy is a sign of love, someone – that it is selfishness and disrespect. Shakespeare generally called jealousy a monster, self-conceiving and giving birth. In any case, both suffer from it: one is tormented by suspicions, the other is offended by mistrust. How to deal with this? Just be honest: do not give and do not look for reasons for jealousy.
13. Excessive peace of mind
Did you notice that when people find themselves a pair and they all turn out well, they start gaining weight? Harmony and tranquility in relationships – it’s wonderful. But this is not a reason to stop watching yourself. Do you want your partner to lose interest in you? Is not a loved one worthy to be proud of your beauty? If you see that the problem has ripened (you can even say, grown), buy a gym membership … for two.
14. Comparisons
Comparisons are one of 14 things that ruin relationships. Forget about your ex. They are in the past. In the present, there is a new love. And it is easy to destroy it if you compare a partner with ex-passions.
15. Together 24 hours a day
“They are the perfect couple – they do everything together!” – whenever you hear such cries, you involuntarily sarcastically smile. How long will they be together? A person psycho-physiologically needs to be alone. Does moving in together kill a relationship? No, if you act wisely. Do not seek to spend every minute with your loved one. On the contrary, the less time to communicate, the more valuable it is.
16. Lies
Marriage research Gottman proves that lie, like water, can erode the foundation of any, even the strongest union. Follow the principle of Dr. House – “everyone is lying” – you can, but not in communicating with your loved one. Speak honestly, if the soup is slightly under-salted or the dress you donated did not like, and learn to adequately perceive such truth in your address.
17. Lying to yourself
Sometimes relationships fail not because we are a partner, but because we are not honest enough. Is that the person with whom I want to meet old age? Do I want to give myself to this relationship? While you sincerely do not answer these questions yourself, you will not achieve harmony in the relationship.
18. Insecurity
The lower your self-esteem, the more insecure your partner feels. Do not let complexes generate questions: “Did I choose the right person?” What can he give me, if he does not believe in his own strength? “It is also true that the opposite is true: run away from someone who self-affirms at your expense and makes you feel insignificant.
19. Objectives
What will happen next? What will your relationship lead to? You need to know exactly whether your goals match your partner’s plans. Perhaps, he (she) is not at all tuned to a marriage in the near future, while you already dream of a family. Do not hesitate to ask these questions and do not be afraid to break off a hopeless relationship.
20. Love is taken for granted
It is believed that you love not for something certain, you just love. All right. But even this “medal” has a downside: love cannot be taken for granted. Love is a gift of fate. Be grateful to the person who is next to you, for his feelings.
Summing – up
Knowing the top 10 ways men destroy their marriage and even a few things more can help you protect your relationships and not put your love at risk. Try to be more attentive and act at once, instead of waiting for everything to change without your participation. Remember, passiveness is what destroys a relationship the most.
Robert Smith focuses on interpersonal relationships and online dating. When you read a guide to foreign women, valuable relationship tips, or comparisons of different types of foreign ladies, such articles were likely written and polished by Robert. The author has developed his dating strategies based on his investigations into the international dating niche.
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