Platonic Relationship: Meaning, Tips, and Rules

Interestingly, the UCLA study has found that 51.5% of Gen Z prefer to have a strong friendship or platonic relationship rather than romance. This is not completely surprising, given the current dating situation worldwide. A lot of people are looking for alternatives to the traditional relationship where he loves her, she loves him, and they are building their future together. That’s why there are so many so-called situationships where both partners don’t really know who they are to each other. 

The platonic relationship is more clear. It’s reassuring and reliable, and you can always say you are just friends without secretly dreaming of being something else.

What is a Platonic Relationship?

Platonic relationships are all about finding someone with whom you can have deep late-night conversations and meaningful hugs and gaze into their eyes as if they are your whole world. Both platonic partners can be dating other people or even married. Jealousy is taboo for such relationships as well as flirting. The term can apply to both opposite-sex and same-sex friendships. Nevertheless, opposite-sex platonic love is much more common. 

The line between being in a romantic and platonic relationship is sometimes too thin to notice. If you want to have a general picture of what this all is about, we are happy to paint it for you: 

• Respecting each other’s boundaries
• Being able to share the most embarrassing secrets with no fear
• Caring about the other person sincerely and without any hidden motives
• Feeling that you love your platonic relationship partner on a special level
• Admitting that the other person is your soulmate

People rarely discuss platonic dating, preferring to call it a friendship. So what’s the difference? What’s a platonic relationship? Platonic love goes beyond just friendship; it’s a deep connection filled with genuine care, intimacy, and unwavering support.

Signs of a Platonic Love

Not everyone is lucky enough (or cursed?) to find platonic love. As you already understand, this kind of relationship can be quite controversial. So let us walk you through the main signs of such a connection so that you can be sure that this is exactly what is happening between you and the other person right now: 

• Shared values and beliefs

A platonic relationship is a lot of talking, as this way you establish that special connection between you two. Consequently, you need to have plenty in common. While having the same interests and hobbies is not essential, sharing the same views on social topics and philosophical questions is crucial. 

• Being genuinely happy for each other’s success

People in platonic relationships celebrate their partner’s achievements and provide support during setbacks. Sometimes, it is challenging to be happy for someone when your own life is now as perfect as you would like it to be. You might have experienced that. However, being truly excited for another person’s success in such moments is a clear sign of platonic love. 

• Frequent and honest communication

When in a platonic relationship, you literally feel the need to talk to each other all the time. You want to share your latest news, discuss some interesting subjects, or simply walk around the city at 2 am with warm coffees and conversations about nothing and everything at the same time. Honesty goes without saying. 

• Deep emotional connection

Basically, mutual platonic love is like a regular relationship, but without physical closeness and happily-ever-after plans for the future. You share a profound bond that goes beyond surface-level interactions. One more sign is that you can’t help but feel that this person gets you ultimately like no one else does. 

Pros and Cons of Having a Platonic Life Partner

Having someone with whom you can share your deepest secrets without hesitation and feel happy just being next to each other is undeniably fulfilling. However, there are also some downsides to platonic love that you might encounter over time. Let’s explore both the positive and negative aspects of such a relationship.

Pros: 

• Unwavering support. Having a platonic partner means having a person who is always there for you, whether you want to celebrate that your book got published or cry over your fight with your family. 
• Freedom from romantic pressures. When you are in a platonic romance, you don’t have to think about what the next step is and whether you actually want to spend the rest of your life with this person. 
• Stability and consistency. Emotional games like playing hard-to-get are NEVER part of a platonic relationship. You’re always there for each other, and if you can’t communicate right now, you let the other person know the reason. 

Cons:

• Jealousy. Not only can people dating get jealous, but friends can too. People in platonic relationships feel the emotional bond very strongly and may get mad if their partner even has a glimpse into someone else romantically. 
• Misunderstandings. While one of you may feel bad about building romantic relationships with other people, another partner may consider it totally okay. The way you explain your affair to your relatives can lead to a lot of confusion as well.
• Unmet romantic needs. Some people may desire a romantic connection, while others prefer to keep things platonic. Ultimately, the first party may consent to the platonic relationship in order to avoid being alone, but this may not satisfy their romantic needs.

Platonic Relationship Rules

Discussing the rules is one of the hardest things about being in a platonic relationship. You want it to stay magic and undefined, something only the two of you understand. However, you need to be careful and realize that even though you are soulmates, you may have different images of what’s going on between you. So read the rules of being in a platonic relationship and make sure you’re clear on each point with your partner. 

Avoid mixed signals

One of the best things about being in a platonic relationship is having someone you feel completely comfortable with. However, this can change quickly if one of you starts sending mixed signals, such as flirting. For instance, you might notice that your goodbye hugs are becoming longer and your platonic partner is holding you tighter than usual, or that the topics you discuss are becoming more intimate. 

If you feel like you would like it to be more than friendship, it’s better to discuss it openly but gently, without trying to hide it behind jokes or flirting. By the way, one of the platonic relationship examples that shows that you can go from platonic to romantic love is the famous couple, Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. They started as best friends and ended up dating!

Keep balance

Friendship holds significant value for Americans, with 61% of US adults stating that having close friends is extremely or very important for living a fulfilling life. Do you have the same opinion? When you have a friend who is very important to you, it is hard to stop sending “let’s go for coffee” messages all the time. 

Those who experience platonic love, which is a higher level of friendship, need to spend quality time together to maintain this special kind of relationship. However, you should make sure that you are not neglecting your family members, friends, or responsibilities. For example, you want to hang out with your soulmate after work, but your family is waiting for you for dinner. Make time for your platonic love in a way that does not interfere with other relationships or obligations in your life.

Don’t complain about your romantic partners

Starting a platonic relationship vs romantic relationship battle is never a good idea. In platonic love, it’s vital to avoid gossiping or complaining about your partners to each other. Say you just had an argument with your second half, and now you want to receive some support. Such actions are the first step to leaving your current date or spouse and considering dating your platonic soulmate. If you think this is a good idea, go on. But if you prefer to leave things the way they are, avoid bringing up any negative details about your romantic life in your platonic relationship.  

Establish boundaries

In order to avoid crossing the line between a platonic and romantic relationship, you need to know where that line lies. We suggest you define it for yourself and ideally discuss it with your platonic partner. For example, you can decide that meeting for a coffee in the afternoon is okay, but having a late-night drive around the city talking about life and getting cappuccinos at McDrive is too much. The latter feels a lot like a date and may be the first of the mixed signals you send to each other, whether consciously or not. Remember that a romance is the opposite of platonic relationship.

Give each other space 

Even if you two discussed all the ins and outs of your platonic relationship and talked over the boundaries and taboos, you still should remember that the other person doesn’t belong to you. You shouldn’t expect your platonic partner to be available 24/7 because they need to maintain their own life, and so do you! It’s great to have deep conversations from time to time but it’s not going to be like that every day. Accept it and avoid falling into the trap of acting like the other person is your date. 

Don’t hide your platonic relationship from your partner

We know it may be hard to explain to your second half what a platonic, non sexual relationship is and that the other person is nothing like your romantic partner. However, if you want both of your relationships to thrive, you need to do that. Clearly distinguishing between the types of love can help alleviate any doubts or insecurities. Sometimes, it’s better to introduce the other person as the best friend, as not everyone is well familiar with the definition of platonic love, which may lead to misunderstandings and jealousy.

Avoid acting like a couple

When you get very close to someone, it is very easy to slide into “couple” mode and have some kind of platonic date every time you see each other. As relationship experts, we feel the need to tell you that this is dangerous for two reasons. 

First, you are preventing each other from getting a real romantic partner, which automatically leads to unfulfilled intimacy needs. Second, you shift your communication towards dating, which may result in ruining what you have after a couple of nights together. 

So, don’t start calling your platonic partner in the middle of the night or sending sweet good morning/evening messages. Try acting more like friends and exchanging funny memes instead!

Summing Up

As they say, in a world where no one understands you, it’s nice to meet someone who does. When you finally meet that person, defining your relationship will likely not be the top priority. The beginning of platonic love might feel confusing, especially if one or both of you have romantic partners. You may wonder if spending time with each other counts as cheating. That’s why it’s so important to talk about how both of you feel and where you think it is going. Make sure to follow platonic relationship rules if you want this relationship to thrive and make you two happy. 

Robert Smith

Robert Smith focuses on interpersonal relationships and online dating. When you read a guide to foreign women, valuable relationship tips, or comparisons of different types of foreign ladies, such articles were likely written and polished by Robert. The author has developed his dating strategies based on his investigations into the international dating niche and his own experience.