Dating is an amazing period in the life of every person. You will never forget those emotions associated with the first meeting and kissing. Warm hugs, long conversations, and dreams let people feel over the moon. However, earlier or later, this period ends. Those who decide to take dating to the next level and build a long-term relationship, start to look at everything from another angle. When things are getting more serious, the level of expectations rises as well. It is when people deal with non negotiables in relationship.
What are Non Negotiables in a Relationship?
Non negotiables are things that you will never agree with. While relationships mean a constant search for numerous compromises and deals, non-negotiables are what you are not ready to compromise on. A list of these things varies from person to person. However, it can’t be ignored, no matter how much you love your partner. Of course, it would be great if you two discussed your lists at the very beginning. But as I have said before, it is quite difficult to do it when people feel too excited. But you can do it once you start to think and try to understand whether you are a good match for sure.
Examples of Non Negotiables in a Relationship
Having a list of clear non negotiables means that you show borders that you are not going to cross and, of course, that you will not allow another person to cross under any circumstances. Some men want their women to stay at home and care about them, kids, and household chores. Hence, if a woman dreams of becoming the best specialist in the area she has chosen (e.g. teaching, tourism, etc.), they will hardly ever be happy togather. In fact, every person decides what he is ready to compromise on or not. But there are some common things that you may consider to make up your own list without stress.
Core values
Core values are what you mustn’t and shouldn’t compromise on. These values act as a ground for your entire life, no matter what area we are talking about. It means that you are not going to change your values even if your partner asks you to join her church and you are an atheist, for example. In other words, core values guide you and are important when you make some decisions or act at work, home, etc. If the woman doesn’t share your core values, she surely won’t be able to create a nice, warm relationship with you. Hence, you should be strict when it comes to compromises like that and tell everything in advance.
Finances
There is hardly a person who likes talking about money, as it is quite a tricky issue to discuss. However, it is one of the most important questions that all couples should face. We all have different views on earning, spending, and planning money. Therefore, you should share your point of view at once. Otherwise, you risk having a lot of misunderstandings, conflicts, and arguing. Knowing the spending habits of each other lets you build transparent relationships, set realistic financial goals, and feel comfortable enough despite possible circumstances. Please keep in mind that money issues are what can destroy even the strongest partnership if not settled at the very beginning.
Kids
Not everyone is dreaming about having kids, and it is okay. Somebody wants an extended family, while others are ready only for one kid. All these options vary from person to person, and it is what you should discuss with your beloved for sure. If you have been always dreaming of a noisy weekend with lots of kids running around you at the beach while your lady can’t stand all that stuff, or vice versa, then building harnonius relationships would be a real challenge for you. Don’t hesitate to share your expectations and preferences when it comes to kids. This way, you will understand whether you have the same views and can make things work out for you.
Intimacy
We all know that intimacy can be of different kinds, including physical, emotional, ect. The point is that you should build commitment with a woman who has the same preferences as you do. For example, if you like hugging a lot, then your perfect match shouldn’t mind hugging as well. It is referred to sex and other aspects of your life as well. Hardly can you be happy with the person who has a rather different idea of intimacy in relationships.
Respect
It is quite difficult to imagine happy, healthy relationships without mutual respect. While it is very important for all spheres of life, family strives to appreciate each other even more. What does it mean? You should accept your partner as she is including all drawbacks and other peculiarities. People can build a meaningful connection only if they have a friendly space where both are free to express ideas and opinions and feel comfortable. Here, we can also mention the ability to apologize. It is a real sign of maturity and desire to build relationships full of love and happiness.
Goals
Setting goals and achieving them is rather important, yeah? Probably you used to have some aims before you met your special one. Working together toward the shared goals seems to be even more exciting, doesn’t it? Still, it is significant to be on the same page with your partner. For example, you both aim to travel or purchase a new country house. Then reaching your mutual goals will not be a big problem. Before taking your communication to the next level, it is better to discuss your plans and goals to make sure that you can become a perfect match with your lady.
Religion and politics
These two topics are quite controversial. Still, for creating a strong commitment, you should have the same view. For example, if one of you wants faith to be a priority in your life or be attached to church somehow, then the partner should be ready for that. The same works for politics. While some people don’t care about politics as well, others have a strict opinion. Encourage the partner to share her views to see whether you engage in a healthy debate if necessary.
Commitment
Commitment is one of the basic non negotiables in a relationship, although it looks different for every person. For example, one couple considers getting married and staying with one partner for their entire life okay, while others prefer polygamy. Some men wish to have one partner and see more women at the same time. Despite the most suitable option for you, it is important to discuss the desired type of commitment with the lady you like. This way, you will see whether you are on the same page and can build relationships of your dreams.
Abuse
Just like intimacy, you can deal with different types of abuse. Whether it is emotional or physical, you should remember that it is not something you should compromise on. Even if your partner says that it is okay and that all couples live like that, be sure that this is a lie. Abuse is definitely a red flag for relationships, and you deserve a good attitude in any situation. Be strict about all borders that can’t be crossed. Once you explain that no kind of abuse is acceptable for you, the potential partner will see what works and what doesn’t work when it comes to starting a commitment with you.
Responsibility
When two people decide to be together, they become a team. It means that you should share all tasks, even if they are not very pleasant or desired. You are expected to act synchronically, supporting and replacing each other when it is necessary. If one of the partners is not ready to share responsibilities and be a team member, then sooner or later, you risk losing your love and passion. That’s why you need to discuss possible responsibilities at the very beginning and see what your partner thinks about them.
Honesty
Someone may say that white lies will not harm a romantic relationship if the person just wants to protect the partner from something not very pleasant. However, building a harmonious relationship with a person who can hide the truth would be quite challenging. Honesty is one of the ground non-negotiables for sure, and you should mention its significance at the very beginning.
Ambitions
Some people are satisfied with basic , common things, while others are always desiring for have more and more. You can be super ambitious person, concentrated on your carrer and achieving other goals, while your crush fits the first category of people. Find time to discuss this nuance so that everyone is aware of what to expect in future.
Why are Non-negotiables Important?
Understanding your own and your partner’s non-negotiables is crucial, as it has a lot of benefits. You can use these lists to make your life easier and more comfortable. Even at first sight, it may seem to be quite complicated; sooner you will see that it is not. I can highlight the next benefits of creating a list of non-negotiables:
- Making great decisions. A clear set of non-negotiables will surely simplify the process of making decisions. Both of you will understand all the dos and don’ts of the partner and won’t waste time discussing unimportant things. As a result, you will make great decisions in accordance with the available framework.
- Increasing respect. With a list of non-negotiables, you can demonstrate your own red lines and self-worth. The lady you like will see what behavior isn’t acceptable for you. This way, you will increase respect in relationships and prove that you are not ready for less.
- Minimilizing bitterness. Once you share all your thoughts, preferences, and vision, you can reduce possible bitterness. When people think that others just need to guess what they think or want, it only complicates everything. With a list of non-negotiables, you will surely avoid resentment.
- Staying on the same page. When you have a clear understanding of what values your partner has, you can align them with your own ones and stay on the same page.
- Improving communication. Regular and honest discussions of negotiables and non negotiables in a relationship let you initiate open communication with no secrets at all. It is a great opportunity to tell about your dreams, goals, and desires. As a result, you will know more about your partner and see what works for both of you.
What to Do If Your Needs Aren’t Being Met in a Relationship?
If you constantly feel that your needs and expectations are not being met in a relationship, you can consider a few practical tips to settle everything down:
- Realize your own needs. Take time to reflect your own desires and expectations. Make sure that you fully realize your needs, without any excuse.
- Share them calmly. Try to initiate an open conversation without blaming. For this, use “I” statements and say what you feel.
- Give a word to your partner. Once you have said everything you wanted, it is high time to listen to your partner. Let feelings and thoughts be heard from both sides.
- Work at the solution. Now, when you lay the cards on the table, you can try to find a solution that will please both of you. Work together to meet each other’s needs.
- Be realistic. Nothing can change at the snap of your fingers, as all changes require some time and devotion. Be patient and realistic to see how new solutions will work for you.
All in all, you can try these steps in case your needs are not met by the partner and you are not satisfied with the relationship you currently have. Still, it is better to discuss all non-negotiables at once and be ready to leave when another person doesn’t have the same priorities.
Bottom Line
Every person is an individual and has their own set of negotiables and non-negotiables. While somebody has a long list of things to mention, others have not even thought about them before. Anyway, you are recommended to reflect on your own needs and create a list of things that you are not ready to compromise on. This will simplify the process of starting a healthy relationship that will make you feel truly happy. Once you do it, feel free to check profiles of beautiful single women on Victoriyaclub.com. Undoubtedly, there is a special lady for you, with the same set of negotiables and non-negotiables.
Robert Smith focuses on interpersonal relationships and online dating. When you read a guide to foreign women, valuable relationship tips, or comparisons of different types of foreign ladies, such articles were likely written and polished by Robert. The author has developed his dating strategies based on his investigations into the international dating niche and his own experience.
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