Have you ever seen your friends happy to master the second base dating? Don’t worry if you didn’t understand what they were talking about, as you are not alone. The definition of bases in dating was borrowed from baseball. Nowadays, this playful metaphor is used to describe the levels of intimacy in a relationship. Of course, it doesn’t have any official status, but it is still widely mentioned in casual conversations. But what are all the bases in dating?
Bases in a Relationship: Decoding the System
The meaning varies from culture to culture, but from a U.S. perspective, bases in a relationship refer to different stages of intimacy. You can use this code when talking with friends, and they will understand you easily. Let’s examine the most plausible interpretation.
1st base: kissing
What is first base in dating? It’s kissing, and not only a quick touch on the cheek. Here we are talking about a full-on, like French kissing. It is usually the first physical milestone in a relationship and happens when there is a spark between two people. Somebody steps into this phase almost at once, while others need a few dates.
Also read: How to Kiss? — A Complete Guide from Victoriyaclub
2nd base: touching above the waist
The second base involves touching above the waist. You can do it under or over clothes. This includes things like touching the chest, breasts, nipples, and waist. All in all, the partners become closer physically at this stage. They feel quite comfortable together at the 2nd base.
3rd base: touching below the waist
At last, the couple moves to a more intimate territory — below the waist. Here, we can talk about oral stimulation or touching. In general, it is taken as a considerate shift from flirtation to a more serious sexual connection. However, people should have a deeper level of trust and comfort. 3rd base in dating means having sex without direct penetration.
4th base: home run
At last couple comes to hitting a home run, or having full sexual intercourse. Getting to the 4th base is the decision of two people whether they want to get even closer or not. Anyway, metaphor usually means the culmination of all bases in dating. It’s something like taking the person home and enjoying each other to the fullest.
Also read: Discover How to Progress from Dating to Relationship
How Long Do Bases in Relationships Last?
There is no fixed period for each base. Each couple is unique and has a different approach to dating and building relationships. Some people may enjoy a particular base longer, while others will miss it. All in all, the duration of each base entirely depends on the couple, their values, goals, communication, and comfort level. Here are approximate periods:
- 1st base “Kissing” – from a few dates to several weeks. The duration depends on how quickly the emotional and physical chemistry grows. Some couples intentionally prolong this period to grow tension and attraction.
- 2nd base “Touching above the waist” may last from days to weeks or longer. It depends on mutual desire to take the communication to the next level.
- 3d base “Touching below the waist” may happen just after the second base or be delayed for months. Everything depends on whether the couple wants their relationship to progress more slowly or quicker.
- 4th base “Home run” ranges from weekends to months or longer. The duration depends on commitment level and values.
As you can see, there in no definite timeline saying how long each base lasts. Everything is determined by clear communication and desires of both partners.
Tips to Consider Before Going to the Next Base
If you want to know more about going to the next base, then consider a few nice tips that will help you, whether you are an experienced dater or a newcomer.
- Communicate openly. Don’t think that other people must understand you without any words. The chances you are really on the same page are low. Prioritize open communication where you can share your thoughts, ideas, and values. Simple questions like “Are you comfortable with…” let us build trust and show respect. Also, asking direct questions will let you save a lot of time and effort you might waste on guessing whether another person feels the same.
- Mind non-negotiables. Every person has their own boundaries that let people build healthy and happy relationships. That’s why it is crucial to define your non-negotiables and know the same about another person. It will let you avoid confusion, stress, and disappointment.
- Think what it means to you. How do you feel? What are your goals and expectations? Take some time to clarify your feelings and real desires without any pressure.
- Avoid comparison. There should be a place for comparison, neither with other couples nor with your previous romantic experience. This will cause only pressure and sadness. It is better to move at your own pace, focusing on your needs and desires.
- Be safe. When going from the second to the third base in dating and further, don’t be shy to talk about protection. There is no place for shyness in the case of your health.
Also read: Non Negotiables in a Relationship: Understanding Essentials for Healthy Bound
Are the Four Bases in Dating Still Used?
Let’s face the truth, these days, dating has changed a lot. Romantic scenarios vary from a couple to a couple. People decide how to develop their communication depending on different things. Somebody may miss a particular base, while others will stay longer there. Nowadays, people feel more relaxed when discussing intimate topics openly, sharing their own likes, worries, etc. Still, bases in dating are used as a common talking point that gives partners or friends a better understanding of each other.
Final Thoughts
So, what are the different bases in dating? They are kissing, touching above and below the waist, and home running. Understanding the meaning of a popular metaphor will let you better navigate the modern dating game. But you should mind that all players in this game play differently. Somebody prefers moving faster, while others decide to skip definite stages. That’s why it is important to respect each other and be honest about own intentions. This will let you play the love games as smoothly as possible.
Maria is a writer who specializes in couples counseling and encourages people to become more intimate with one another. If you come across informative articles with personal viewpoints or research-based pieces that highlight the stages of creating healthy relationships, these pieces are probably written by Maria. The author emphasizes the importance of self-growth before seeking a romantic partner.
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