How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend? — Top Proved Ways

Let’s face the truth: coming up with a good apology is not easy at all. While it plays a crucial role in a relationship with a girl, especially during the fight, apologizing requires efforts. You need to know how to properly apologize to your girlfriend, what to say, and when to take a pause. Based on recent research by the Journal of Marriage and Family, couples quarrel at least once a week. Of course, problems vary from couple to couple and include such topics as money, politics, friends, communication style, life decisions, etc.  If you want to improve your skills and be ready for any situations, then keep reading to find out all tips and tricks. 

How Do I Say Sorry to My Girlfriend After Hurting Her?

Whether you hurt a lady’s feelings or made a mistake, apologizing should be correct, sincere, and full of empathy. A good apology may let you save the relationships, show your true feelings, and prevent you from unwanted circumstances. If you want to take the right approach, then consider the steps below.

Reflect the situation

Don’t beat around the bush when it comes to apologizing. The first thing that you should do is to be direct and specific. You need to take responsibility for the mistake you have made and avoid any general phrases or cliches. Of course, it may be quite difficult, as facing the truth has never been an easy step. However, taking the action will let you feel better and speed up the climax. Take a deep breath and say something like that: “I understand that I was wrong yesterday. Instead of discussing everything, I just left without saying a word. I realize how painful it was and how terrible you felt.”  Be careful with every phrase you pronounce; otherwise, you risk making things even more complicated. 

Express your regret

Before rushing to apologize, make sure that you really feel terrible and that you sincerely want to fix everything. The lady should see that you care about her feelings and the situation in general. Each of your words should prove your remorse. Here is a good example to consider: “I see how terrible I behaved. I regret this situation very much.  I didn’t want to make you feel so uncomfortable or sad”.  Watch the girl’s reaction when talking. Her gestures may help you express your regret in a better way. 

Be honest

Sometimes we can act wrong, trying to justify our own actions. You may look for extra excuses to explain your behavior. However, it can only make things worse. Instead of talking about stress at work, other people, or any other reason that made you feel and act wrong at that very moment, you’d better focus on yourself and the girl. Actually, only her feelings matter. The woman expects you to be honest and appreciate her emotions rather than hear about anything else. That’s why the best thing you can do is to take responsibility and be vulnerable. 

Listen to the response

Once you finish your speech, it is time to give a turn to the lady. Please remember that an apology usually involves two people. So, let the lady express her thoughts and ideas on what you have said. Now it is your turn to listen and analyze. Avoid interrupting the lady and show respect while she is talking. She may take any kind of interruption as disrespectful.  Even if you have what to say right now, wait until the woman ends her speech. Only then can you add something else. 

Come up with some solution

When you both have said what you wanted, it is time to offer a certain change or a solution to the situation you have. You need to show that you have learned from your mistakes and are not going to repeat them again. The girl should see that you are ready to improve everything and want it above all. Ensure her that you are going to work on your behavior. Here is an example to consider: “I promise to avoid acting like that again. You mean a lot to me, and I don’t want to take our relationships under the risk.”

Ask the girl to forgive you

The next step is quite obvious—you should ask the woman to forgive you. Avoid any pressure and instead ask whether she is ready for such a step.Show your sincerity and say something like this: “I understand that I made you feel bad, but I hope you will be able to forgive me. I do not expect this to happen today, but maybe one day you will give me another chance.”  Think over the words you use as well as the tone. All these small nuances have a huge impact. 

Take action

After asking for forgiveness, you should start acting. Prove that you are really sorry, not just with the nice words but with actions. Demonstrate your readiness to change in any possible way. It may be planning a date, presenting some nice gift, or something else. The main idea here is to be consistent but without any pressure. Make a good effort to bring things back to normal, and watch her reaction. 

Give her time and space if necessary

Remember that we are all different, and your girlfriend may need more time to heal. Don’t hurry up and give her as much time and space as necessary. You can also ask what you may do to help her go through this process easier. Respect the lady’s personal boundaries and keep calm. Of course, the amount of necessary time varies from person to person and greatly depends on the particular situation. Anyway, have patience, and your time will come.

How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend Over Text

Apologizing over text can be a real challenge because you do not have that face-to-face contact and can’t predict the girlfriend’s reaction to your words. So how to apologize to your girlfriend for hurting her feelings? Here are a few nice tricks to consider:

1. Be direct. There is no need to postpone the most important words. You’d better avoid asking general phrases like How are you? and get down to business at once. 
2. Give a promise. Say that you feel bad because of this situation and promise that you will not make the same mistake again. 
3. End the letter. Choose the right tone for finishing the message.  Do not ask for immediate forgiveness, and give the girl some time and space to think about your relationships.

How to apologize to your girlfriend for hurting her feelings paragraph? Look at the example of a loving note with an apology. Probably it will help you create your own one, and melt the girlfriend’s heart.

“Hi, my darling. I want you to know that I feel so terrible after our last meeting. I realize that my words made you upset and uncomfortable. I am ready to take full responsibility for such a behavior and promise that I will do my best not to disappoint you again. I understand that you may need some time to think over the situation again. So I am not going to put any pressure on you or demand forgiveness right now. Take as much time as you need. I love you, and I will wait until you are ready to move on. Remember that you mean a lot to me, and I sincerely hope that we will overcome all difficulties together.”

Last – Minute Tips

Unfortunately, not all men are ready to wait. They want the girlfriend to apologize to them at once, and they both pretend that everything is okay. Well, you can deal with such a scenario as well. But sooner or later, you may face the negative circumstances. Therefore, it is better to consider these last-minute tips:

• Avoid over-apologizing. Apologizing is important for sure. Still, you should be careful and avoid over – apologizing. Stop apologizing all the time, as it would sound insincere and will ultimately make the conflict harder to deal with.
• See a real perspective. If you don’t understand how you can avoid similar mistakes in the future, then it is better to find out everything at once. Ask the girl what behavior she expects from you. 
• Use “I” statement. All psychologists say that we need to use “I” statements when talking with a partner, especially when it comes to conflicts. Therefore, you need to focus on your actions and words while avoiding talking instead of the woman. 
• Avoid jokes. Using humor when things are so serious is not the best idea. You need to avoid jokes or laughing, as it is inappropriate. Instead, stay focused and serious to show that you really care.
• Show empathy. You should mention your girlfriend’s feelings and say that you understand her emotions well. You can even put yourself in her shoes to sound more realistic.

Mind that even small actions that do not look very meaningful actually matter a lot.  You get a great chance to rebuild your connection and avoid previous mistakes. 

Why is Apologizing So Important?

Of course, apologizing itself can’t remove all the pain or just bring things back. Still, it is very important. Why? Well, first of all, it brings some sort of relief. You try to prove that your words or actions were wrong, but you are ready to take responsibility for them.  You get a chance to become better and improve your relationships in general. 

In case you pretend that everything is alright and avoid apologizing, you risk damaging your connection. It may happen not at once, but all those negative emotions will be collected and sooner or later lead to even worse consequences. 

How to Understand That Your Apology Was Accepted?

Let’s say you have done your best to show that you really feel sorry about the unpleasant situation. But how can you be sure that the girl has accepted your apology? Well, you are going to see it almost at once:

• The girl will listen to your apology or read if it’s a letter. She will say that she has read your letter and answer it soon. 
• The girl will say something like this: Don’t do it again, please. Okay, I will give you one more chance.
• The girl will say that she needs some time to think all over again and decide what to do next.

All in all, you should understand that even if the lady accepts your apology, things can’t change at once. She may need some more time to get back to normal and forget about that unpleasant situation. 

Final Thoughts

It doesn’t matter whether you want to know how to apologize to your girlfriend for cheating or just some unpleasant words. All the above-mentioned tips will let you do it correctly. Mind that every girl is unique, and you should be attentive with the words you say and actions you take not to make things worse. Being direct, sincere, thoughtful, and caring is the best way to fix the situation and move on. 

Maria Shannon

Maria is a writer who specializes in couples counseling and encourages people to become more intimate with one another. If you come across informative articles with personal viewpoints or research-based pieces that highlight the stages of creating healthy relationships, these pieces are probably written by Maria. The author emphasizes the importance of self-growth before seeking a romantic partner.